You Are the Trash Greeting Card: Funny Raccoon Romance Stationery
The You Are the Trash Greeting Card is a 5x7 collectible alternative romance card designed to spare your partner from store-bought greeting card lameness. Featuring an adorable, wide-eyed raccoon peeking out of a galvanized metal garbage can beneath bold text reading "You Are the Trash I Want to Get Lost In," this card proves that true love is delightfully weird and delightfully messy. Whether celebrating Valentine's Day, an anniversary, or a spontaneous declaration of affection, it delivers a hilarious, offbeat tribute to that special person who is essentially five-star leftover takeout in your heart.
Professionally printed on high-quality luster greeting card stock, this card delivers rich photographic contrast, sharp detail, and a durable semi-gloss finish. Each folded card measures 5x7 inches with an uncoated blank interior, giving you complete freedom to write custom love letters, funny memories, or chaotic inside jokes. Every card comes paired with a matching paper mailing envelope, making it ready to hand deliver or drop in the mailbox for effortless, unforgettable gifting.
Funny Romance Stationery & Raccoon Greeting Card Specifications
- Dimensions: 5" x 7" (folded)
- Stock: Premium luster cardstock
- Interior: Blank
- Includes: Matching mailing envelope
- Occasion: Valentine's Day, anniversaries, quirky romance, couples humor
Shipping & Delivery Information
Our Shipping Promise
At Slickpurchase, we understand how important your purchases are. That's why we take extra care with every package we send. All orders are shipped in double-boxes with full insurance for additional protection, ensuring your items arrive safely.
Processing & Shipping Timeline
- Processing Time: Orders are processed within 3-6 business days
- Domestic Delivery: Typically 6-10 business days
Please note that delivery times are estimates and may vary based on your location, weather conditions, or other unforeseen circumstances.
Shipping Destinations
Slickpurchase currently only ships to the United States.
Shipping Costs
We are pleased to offer free standard shipping on all orders within the United States.
Discreet Packaging
We respect your privacy. All Slickpurchase packages are shipped with complete discreet packaging. The product name, description, sender's name, and any information that hints about the contents are encrypted. Your package will arrive without any indication of what's inside, ensuring your purchase remains confidential.
Signature Requirements
Important Note: All orders valued above $250 will require a signature upon delivery for your protection.
Order Tracking
Once your order ships, you'll receive a tracking number via email so you can monitor your shipment's progress every step of the way.
Lost or Delayed Shipments
If your package is lost or significantly delayed, please contact our support team immediately, and we will assist you in resolving the issue.
Additional Security Measures
For your protection, we may contact you for additional order verification of the payment method on certain orders.
Questions or Concerns?
For details on returns and refunds, please refer to our Return Policy page.
For any questions about shipping or delivery, please contact our customer service team at support@slickpurchase.com.
⚠️ WARNING (California Proposition 65):This product may contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive harm.For more information, please visit www.P65Warnings.ca.gov.
