You Ain't Getting Sh--t Christmas Card: Funny Vintage Santa Holiday Stationery
The You Ain't Getting Sh--t Christmas Card is a 5" x 7" folded holiday greeting card printed on professional luster paper stock. It showcases a classic mid-century illustrated Santa Claus giving a sly wink, contrasted with bold festive typography that bluntly announces: "You ain't gettin' sh--t." Built to replace stale, sappy supermarket greetings, this cheeky stationery delivers unapologetic holiday sarcasm for close friends, siblings, and coworkers who landed squarely on the naughty list this year.
Manufactured on heavyweight greeting card stock, the cover highlights rich reds and warm vintage tones with a smooth, smudge-resistant finish. The interior is left entirely blank, providing ample space to write personalized messages, roasts, or enclose cash and gift cards. Complete with a matching mailing envelope, this holiday card props cleanly on mantels, desks, and shelves for display.
You Ain't Getting Sh--t Christmas Card Specifications:
- Dimensions: 5" x 7" (folded)
- Product Type: Folded greeting card
- Material: Heavyweight luster cardstock
- Interior: Blank
- Included: Matching envelope
- Design: Retro Santa illustration with "You ain't gettin' sh--t" text
- Theme: Holiday / humor
Shipping & Delivery Information
Our Shipping Promise
At Slickpurchase, we understand how important your purchases are. That's why we take extra care with every package we send. All orders are shipped in double-boxes with full insurance for additional protection, ensuring your items arrive safely.
Processing & Shipping Timeline
- Processing Time: Orders are processed within 3-6 business days
- Domestic Delivery: Typically 6-10 business days
Please note that delivery times are estimates and may vary based on your location, weather conditions, or other unforeseen circumstances.
Shipping Destinations
Slickpurchase currently only ships to the United States.
Shipping Costs
We are pleased to offer free standard shipping on all orders within the United States.
Discreet Packaging
We respect your privacy. All Slickpurchase packages are shipped with complete discreet packaging. The product name, description, sender's name, and any information that hints about the contents are encrypted. Your package will arrive without any indication of what's inside, ensuring your purchase remains confidential.
Signature Requirements
Important Note: All orders valued above $250 will require a signature upon delivery for your protection.
Order Tracking
Once your order ships, you'll receive a tracking number via email so you can monitor your shipment's progress every step of the way.
Lost or Delayed Shipments
If your package is lost or significantly delayed, please contact our support team immediately, and we will assist you in resolving the issue.
Additional Security Measures
For your protection, we may contact you for additional order verification of the payment method on certain orders.
Questions or Concerns?
For details on returns and refunds, please refer to our Return Policy page.
For any questions about shipping or delivery, please contact our customer service team at support@slickpurchase.com.
⚠️ WARNING (California Proposition 65):This product may contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive harm.For more information, please visit www.P65Warnings.ca.gov.
