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- Divine softness with sass: Ultra-soft fabric, perfect for embracing your multifaceted nature.
- Effortlessly stylish: Pair with jeans for a casual, laid-back look or leggings for a sporty look.
- Flawlessly relaxed fit: Designed to keep you comfortable and stylish, our sweatshirt's roomy fit ensures you feel fabulous in any situation.
- Size range for all: Available in sizes S-3XL
- Breezy care instructions: Keep your statement sweatshirt looking fresh by machine washing cold, inside out, and tumble dryin
If I Was a Vegetable, I’d Be a Cabbitch – Women’s Statement T-Shirt
Not everyone’s cut out to be sweet and soft like a baby carrot. Some of us are tough, layered, and just a little salty—kind of like a cabbage with attitude. This tee is for the women who own their boldness, dish out honesty in thick slices, and don’t wilt under pressure.
Soft, cheeky, and full of sass, it’s the perfect shirt for anyone who’s embraced their unapologetic personality with a healthy dose of humor. Whether you're keeping it real, setting boundaries, or just in a mood, this tee does the talking for you.
Why You’ll Love It:
✔️ Super Soft Fabric – Because even cabbitches deserve comfort
✔️ Relaxed, Flattering Fit – Casual style with a sharp personality twist
✔️ Funny, Bold Print – Delivers your attitude with a side of clever wordplay
✔️ Effortless Pairing – Looks great with denim, joggers, or a strong opinion
For the women who know they're not everyone's cup of tea—and wouldn’t want to be anyway—this shirt is a statement served with spice.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
Shipping & Delivery Information
Our Shipping Promise
At Slickpurchase, we understand how important your purchases are. That's why we take extra care with every package we send. All orders are shipped in double-boxes with full insurance for additional protection, ensuring your items arrive safely.
Processing & Shipping Timeline
- Processing Time: Orders are processed within 3-6 business days
- Domestic Delivery: Typically 6-10 business days
Please note that delivery times are estimates and may vary based on your location, weather conditions, or other unforeseen circumstances.
Shipping Destinations
Slickpurchase currently only ships to the United States.
Shipping Costs
We are pleased to offer free standard shipping on all orders within the United States.
Discreet Packaging
We respect your privacy. All Slickpurchase packages are shipped with complete discreet packaging. The product name, description, sender's name, and any information that hints about the contents are encrypted. Your package will arrive without any indication of what's inside, ensuring your purchase remains confidential.
Signature Requirements
Important Note: All orders valued above $250 will require a signature upon delivery for your protection.
Order Tracking
Once your order ships, you'll receive a tracking number via email so you can monitor your shipment's progress every step of the way.
Lost or Delayed Shipments
If your package is lost or significantly delayed, please contact our support team immediately, and we will assist you in resolving the issue.
Additional Security Measures
For your protection, we may contact you for additional order verification of the payment method on certain orders.
Questions or Concerns?
For details on returns and refunds, please refer to our Return Policy page.
For any questions about shipping or delivery, please contact our customer service team at support@slickpurchase.com.
⚠️ WARNING (California Proposition 65):This product may contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive harm.For more information, please visit www.P65Warnings.ca.gov.
